Category Archives: Daily Post

Because . . . FOREVER!!!

Finite Creatures

At what age did you realize you were not immortal? How did you react to that discovery?

(Thank you for suggesting this prompt, Swoosieque.)

As I sit here eating my Frosted Flakes, and yes, my Firefox is working, at the moment…

I want to shout out to Swoosieque who I think just started following me, probably because of the name “Swoosieque” – “SuzyQ”, “OSuzyQuilts” – get it?

I don’t know when or why  or how, but I realized I wasn’t immortal at a pretty young age, and when I was so young, how old, 6-8-10-12? I would lay awake at night, seeing the street light shining in the window, and think about . . .     D Y I N G . . . ! ! !

Was it thinking of grandparents or other local hometown folks gone?   I would lay there and thing “death” …,  what happens when you die? Not immortal . . .

What does “FOREVER” mean?

That’s the part that made me get up and get a drink or go the bathroom, or read a book by the street light lamp – “FOREVER”, thinking of people from 1 A.D., Jesus, etc., and knowing they are DEAD! now, and “once you are DEAD, you are DEAD”, and do you recognize the  passage of time? and “how long is forever?”…”

Scared me so much I would get up for ANY reason, sing, try hard to think of something fun and banal.

Now that I am older, I recognize these feelings for depression, hangover, paranoia, sleep deprevation, anxiety caused by drugs or caffeine or lack of sleep – and any number of other things. Plus, yes, it is still a massively crazy concept to get your head wrapped around!

Still, every so often, I’m lights off, dozing off to sleep, and I think,

“F-O-R-E-V-E-R!” just like in the movie, “The Sandbox” –

And, it scares me enough to get up and go the bathroom, read a book, turn on the TV to distract me – whatever it takes to calm me down to be able to sleep again.

Because, yes, IF and WHEN I think about it . . .

FOREVER is a VERY VERY VERY  long, long, long, long, long, long, long time!

Most of the time, now, it doesn’t scare me, but every so often, less and less each year, some nighst I think about it – being dead – FOREVER – I can’t sleep right away and need another drink, some ZzzQuill or Benadryl, walking around my back yard, doing a bit of quilting, or even, writing a blog post…

Does “FOREVER” scare you?

 

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The Daily Post

Leftovers

For this week’s writing challenge, shake the dust off something — a clothing item, a post draft, a toy — you haven’t touched in ages, but can’t bring yourself to throw away.

My daughter just cleaned her room a bit this week.  She’s finally actually home long enough during the days to do so.  June was filled with friends and babysitting.  Soon, she’ll be going to Chicago area to sit for her nephew while my daughter has my first grand-daughter.

In the process of some of her cleaning, she took down stuffed animals that were hung from a chain across two walls of her room.  One of the walls had just Beanie Babies, the other mostly Care Bears. Sissy wants the Care Bears, because they are from her youth, but the  Beanie Babies, except for a couple Grandma bought, are going to Good Will, Freecycle, or someplace to someone who wants them.

I know it’s not my own thing that I haven’t used and don’t want to part with, but I thought it was so 17 of her to finally do this.  She has been threatening for years now.

I’ll probably go through the bags of clothes and stuffed animals to make sure there isn’t one I remember and cherish, but I understand her desire to grow up and put childish ways behind her.

My sister was the stuffed animal queen in our house.  She had a bunch.  I had my lavender swan that used to spin her neck and was a wind up musical stuffed toy.  Her neck broke, but I still kept her for many years.  I don’t know what I did with her, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have her now, and she wasn’t at Dad’s house when we cleaned.

I also had a small tiger that I used when I was the middle school cheerleader mascot (not the school one) for the Tigers, our church school basketball team – I think I was in second grade, and I would go with the cheerleaders and basically be the “cute” factor, as I sat on the big stuffed tiger and hugged my little stuffed tiger, all the while wearing black pants and an orange shirt.  When I think back on it now, I had a lot of freedom at that age, probably wouldn’t be so safe these days. I kept that tiger for many years, but again, I don’t know where it is now, and I’m sure I don’t have it either.

Silly this, but I had a stuffed chipmunk with a floppy tail and a funny plastic face that I used to love.  I must be getting old as I am beginning to sound melancholy over these tiny treasures. I also remember a silly flocked covered hard foam dog that was actually a piggy bank, that I got at the church group, that I also had for years and put my pennies and nickels into.

But more than these things, I remember the sock monkey that my Grandma had at the farm in a box with other silly toys and books that might not be so kosher now.

sock monkey

I remember the book called “Little Black Sambo” read about it here.  I just couldn’t believe those tigers could be turned into butter, and I couldn’t believe anyone could be so black.  But I thought it was a cute story, at the time.  She also had a Gumby and a Pokey, plastic covered bendable wire toys.

gumby and pokey

I loved to bend them into really weird and unusual positions, but so did my sisters and brothers.

I know, I’m showing my age.  I also remember watching “Laugh-in” at her house on Sunday evenings, after hanging out at her house all day, usually in the summer, before going home. Oh, and the Smother’s Brothers.  And Sonny and Cher.  Yes, I remember Chastity when she was a little cute girl, not Chaz Bono.  I remember thinking as I entered my teens, “Who would name their kid Chastity?” Seriously. So sad that Sunny died. And, no, I’m not judgmental of Chaz.  You are what you are.

To keep on the quilting theme, one thing I can’t throw away is old quilts.  I have even figured out how to reuse them, cut out the good parts and make throws.  I think I have done 4 already.  Ran out of old quilts, though, so it may be a few  more years before I make anymore.