This is my 47th post. After #50, I’ll decide if I want to keep doing this or maybe even pay for it.
My opinion today, how can I stop? I have enjoyed myself too much. I feel like I am finding my voice that has been silent too many years.
Maybe I should have kept some of my high school diaries. I didn’t. I burned them. I didn’t want to remember and I didn’t want anyone else to know what I knew, what I wrote. That was 35 years ago or more.
Now, I don’t know if I care what people think. Some things that have been happening lately, I wonder if it’s time to come out of my closet. No, I’m not gay, not that I’m opposed to that or anything, but there’s a lot I just don’t vocalize to any or many people. Does my family really know me? Do I know myself? Why do I sometimes feel like the black sheep? Should I just start another blog, an anonymous one?
Am I that person who can stand by my convictions, my beliefs? Do I think it will make a difference to me or the world?
Wow, I’m wondering if I should listen to The Best of Hootie and the Blowfish while I write? Does it make me more maudlin or melancholy?
Whew! It must be time for bed or something. I haven’t been this emotional in a while. Dang.
Well, only time will tell, but I feel somehow this year is a year for change, isn’t it?